Many people do NOT like change. People who struggle with addictions especially don’t. We love to be in our comfort zone, where familiarity provides a false sense of security. However, in order to grow, change is a must, even when it feels uncomfortable or daunting. I’ve been pondering for some time now about all this, reflecting on my own journey and the obstacles I’ve faced. I started my blog not for sympathy or a BooHoo story. It was born out of a desire to connect and resonate with others. I’m doing this in hopes that people who are struggling know they are not alone in their battles. I want to share that there is a path forward and that it’s okay to seek help. I’m not going to lie. It’s tough for me. I’m a person who DOESN’T LIKE CHANGE. I often feel overwhelmed by the enormity of it all. I’m not proud of my life’s challenges. But I know God is calling me to do this. I need to step into the light and foster a community. In this community, we can support each other through our struggles and triumphs.

We don’t grow on the mountain tops, where the air is thin and the journey often feels unattainable. Instead, we grow in the valleys of our very existence. The soil is rich there, and our roots can securely anchor into the ground. It is in these valleys, amid the challenges and struggles, that we discover our true strength and resilience. Each obstacle we face serves as a stepping stone, allowing us to cultivate wisdom and nurture our potential. Embracing this process helps us appreciate the beauty of our growth. It reminds us that it is not the height we achieve. It is the depth of our experiences that shapes who we are.

If we’re not willing to change, nothing will change; it’s that simple. We must be willing to pour our guts out. We need to start the process of transformation. We must embrace every challenge along the way. Everything, and I mean everything that I’m writing about I still work on diligently day by day. It is essential if you genuinely desire to become what the Creator uniquely designed you to be. It is not merely a preference. He certainly didn’t create me to totally wreck my life or to wander aimlessly without purpose. Instead, He created the path and everything within my path as a profound Testimony. This testimony showcases resilience, growth, and the beauty of redemption. It exists in a world that often overlooks the power of belief and faith. Each struggle I encounter reminds me of His plans. It prompts me to keep striving. I know that every step is part of a greater narrative unfolding in my life.

This journey is not an easy journey. The path is very narrow. It winds through the dense thicket of my thoughts and emotions. Sometimes I have to remind myself to walk that straight line. This happens even when distractions loom large on the horizon. When something arises that doesn’t belong in my mind or heart, I address it immediately. I do this with a sense of urgency that reflects my commitment to personal growth. It’s an exhausting, sometimes endless battle that tests our limits and resilience at every turn. The challenges we face can feel overwhelming and relentless, pushing us to our mental and physical boundaries. We must prepare ourselves for battle. This is the only way through it. We need to gather our strength, resources, and motivation to confront the difficulties ahead. With each step taken, we bolster our determination and sharpen our skills, knowing that perseverance is essential to emerge victorious. Romans 5:³ And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; ⁴ and perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Read full chapter

Fear is a really good deceiver of all things. Fear of the unknown! If you’re in fear, you can’t walk in faith. It clouds your judgment, distorts your perception, and paralyzes your ability to move forward. And how do we get through this overwhelming sense of dread? You MUST BE REFINED in the fire. Just as gold is purified through intense heat, you must confront the flames of your fears. Only then can you emerge stronger and more resilient. This process may be painful, but it is essential for growth. Only by confronting our fears can we understand their true nature and diminish their power over us. Fear is a major factor within the realm of the enemy. It seeks to bind us and keep us from realizing our full potential. Embrace the journey through the fire, for it is there that you will find your true strength and purpose.

My biggest fear was, “Who am I really?” I often found myself lost in this question. I grappled with the uncertainty of my identity and the image I had created over the years. What am I going to be like without the alcohol? The thought of facing life sober filled me with dread. I worried about uncovering a version of myself that might be hidden beneath the haze of intoxication. It could be one that I wouldn’t recognize or even like. The prospect of navigating relationships, social situations, and my daily routines without a crutch was daunting. It stirred a mixture of anxiety and hope within me. I pondered these thoughts. I realized that the journey ahead could offer me the chance to rediscover the person I was. It might also help me find the person I could become.

I must say, “I absolutely love the change!” At the age of 53, it’s given me a renewed sense of purpose. I have newfound motivation to go on with my life. At one point, I was extremely suicidal, feeling trapped in a dark place where hope seemed nonexistent. I never told my therapist how suicidal I truly was. I hid the depths of my despair from my counselor because of fear and shame. I didn’t want to be locked up in some damn loony bin. The thought of being confined and judged was terrifying. I didn’t think I was crazy—just an overwhelmed, drunk ol’ broad trying to navigate the chaotic waters of life. Every time someone suggested that I call the Suicide Help Line, I felt a wave of defiance. Instead of reaching out for help, I’d call the liquor store before I’d ever think of dialing that number. It was a desperate attempt to drown out the pain. I tried to avoid facing it. I felt as if I was caught in an endless cycle of despair and denial. Yet, somehow, this very change I now embrace has brought a glimmer of hope back into my life. It encourages me to seek healthier solutions. I am ready to confront my struggles head-on.

We must remember that we are not perfect. God didn’t create us to be perfect. We will falter and stumble and bend but WE WON’T BREAK! Life constantly challenges us, and in those moments of difficulty, it may feel as though everything is crumbling around us. I want to take the easy way at times. I seek refuge in comfort to avoid overwhelming struggles. However, it is important to acknowledge that each setback is an opportunity for growth. While the path may be rocky, we have the strength within us to rise again. It doesn’t matter how many times we fall, it matters that we start again. We learn from our experiences and emerge even stronger than before. Embracing our imperfections makes us human. It allows us to connect with others. We share in the journey of resilience together.

I truly believe that when I broke this curse, it didn’t take just one time. It didn’t take two times. It took numerous times. My auto response to run to the liquor store kicked in quickly. If I hadn’t taken it by storm, I’d still be in my mess. I could possibly be dead. These things that are so embedded in us do not just go away. They linger in our minds and bodies. They shape who we are in ways we often cannot fully comprehend. My liver will never fully recover to its previous state. However, it’s slowly healing itself again. This process reminds me of the resilience of the human body. Every passing day feels like a small victory. It is a testament to the strength that lies within. I make choices that foster its gradual restoration. I reflect on the journey. I understand that healing is not merely a destination. It is a continuous process. This process requires patience, care, and an unwavering commitment to my well-being.

2 Corinthians 3:18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. This transformative process is not merely about physical change. Instead, it signifies a profound spiritual renewal. It also represents empowerment that enhances our capacity to reflect His divine attributes in our daily lives. As we engage in this lifelong journey of faith, we find encouragement in understanding. Along with fellow believers, we continuously evolve into deeper levels of holiness and love. We embody the essence of Christ. Read full chapter