I practiced ART for a brief period. During that time, my mind was cluttered with various thoughts that spun around aimlessly like leaves caught in a whirlwind. These thoughts had no place in it, filling the empty spaces with confusion and noise that echoed within me. One evening, I was sitting here. I was bathed in the warm glow of the setting sun. Suddenly it struck me: “The Magic Eraser! YES, TORI! YES!” I shouted with excitement, “MR. CLEAN! MR. CLEAN!” It was quite a revelation, a sudden clarity in the midst of chaos. With that burst of inspiration, I leaned back, closed my eyes, and began the process of erasing. I envisioned each unwanted thought as a mark on a canvas, and with every blink, I imagined wiping it clean. I moved my eyes back and forth. It was as if I were truly eliminating those unwelcome memories from my mind. I sent them away like dust being swept from a surface. Once we rid the conscious mind of memories, the subconscious will start to creep in. It quietly pulls at the threads of our past. Old, old, old ingrained memories emerge, like they’ve been tattooed in there, reminders of experiences gone by, etched deeply within. They are part of our belief system from days of old. They shape how we see the world and ourselves. These memories challenge me to confront and redefine my reality.

It worked! It exceeded the benefits of any three-hundred-dollar-an-hour session. Every memory I’ve chosen to erase has stayed gone, without a single one haunting me again! Each time I eliminate an unwanted memory, I replace it with an abundance of peace, love, and joy. POUR IT IN LORD! LIQUID GOLD POUR IT IN LORD! This process, known as rewiring your brain pathways, has led to a profound awakening.

When you remove unwanted memories, listen Fellow Readers; You must replace it with a positive. It doesn’t matter how or what you do; the key is to actively fill that empty space. IF YOU LEAVE YOUR HOUSE {Brain Pathway} EMPTY, IT WILL GIVE ROOM FOR THE ENEMY TO SNEAK IN! And this is NO LIE! I’ve encountered it and it’s ugly. Matthew 12:⁴³ “When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest, and finds none. ⁴⁴ Then he says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when he comes, he finds it empty, swept, and put in order. ⁴⁵ Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first. So shall it also be with this wicked generation.” {Read full chapter} My counselor asked me the other day, “Am I the therapist or are you?” I was already laughing with joy, so this made it even better. It’s essential to cultivate new, affirmative experiences. Try journaling, engaging in uplifting conversations, or exploring new hobbies. These activities can spark excitement. Each positive thought or action you incorporate serves as a building block. It helps you construct a fortified mental space. This space is resilient against negativity.

September of last year felt like Jesus himself had removed the thorn from my side. I was in such profound pain, both physically and mentally. I found myself staring into the abyss. Suicide seemed like an escape. In those desperate moments, I cried out, “JESUS, HELP ME! HELP ME, JESUS!” My mom softly reminded me, “He is.” Miraculously, I lost all desire and drive to drink. Paul pleaded in 2 Corinthians 12:7. Just as he faced his own thorn, I realized mine had been taken away. It clicked—I had to break the curse. No wonder people fall into relapse after relapse! Paul’s thorn wasn’t removed because of arrogance; he had martyred thousands of Christians. When God removed the scales from Paul’s eyes in Acts 9:17, everything changed. Ananias laid hands on him and proclaimed, “Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus has sent me. You may receive your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” And just like that, the moment those scales fell away, his sight was restored, and he was baptized. This is not just a story; it’s a testament to the power of faith and transformation!

I can’t stand change! The very thought of it sends shivers down my spine, making me feel uneasy and anxious. However, as much as I resist it, something had to change! Stagnation can be just as daunting as change itself. Deep down, I know that embracing new beginnings might lead to opportunities I never imagined. Each time I reflect on my past experiences, I realize that growth often comes from moments of uncertainty and transformation. I fear the unknown. If I change, what will I be like? Will I become some crabby ol’ nag who can’t stand to be around herself? Or will everything be alright? Fellow Readers, Everything is gonna be alright. {Bob Marley} One Love.

As children of the Lord when we struggle with addictions, we want things and we want them RIGHT NOW! Instant gratification. However, it doesn’t work like that. This transformation is not just for a moment. It is a new journey that unfolds over time. It’s most certainly NOT for the faint of heart. It takes work, and hard work at that. Throughout this process, we face many trials and tribulations. These serve not only as obstacles. They also provide opportunities for growth. There’s no easy way out, no easy answers, and most certainly NO GUARANTEES! None of this happens overnight, and it’s a very narrow path. Matthew 7:14 Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it. The struggle can feel overwhelming at times, but we must remember that anything in life worthwhile takes effort and perseverance. The path of abstinence is very narrow. Which makes it very easy to fall back into the sin that ensnares us so easily. Just one more dance with the devil.

Romans 5:3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. This journey is filled with lessons that enable us to draw closer to God, transforming our pain into purpose, our struggles into strength, and ultimately leading us to a life enriched with meaning and fulfillment. {Read full chapter}

Fellow Readers; Do you see the chain reaction within this verse? It serves as a profound reminder. Even in our darkest moments, we have the power to reach out. We can send glory to the Lord/Universe during our tribulations. This act of glorifying can transform our perspective, truly lifting you up from a place of despair. We should not allow ourselves to be consumed by our struggles. Instead, we can choose to embrace a mindset of gratitude and praise. Stop wallowing in your tribulations. Instead, practice uplifting glorification of the Lord/Universe. Observe how this shift enriches your spirit. It also empowers those around you. In this collective journey of praise, we find solace and strength, reaffirming our connection to something greater than ourselves.

What’s the difference between loving who we are or being in love with oneself? Loving who we are involves an appreciation and acceptance of our unique qualities. It means recognizing our strengths and weaknesses. It also involves embracing the journey of personal growth. It’s about fostering a sense of self-worth. This self-worth is rooted in understanding and compassion for ourselves. It allows us to navigate life’s challenges with resilience. On the other hand, being in love with oneself suggests a deeper engagement with our own identity. It is more intense and often characterized by a heightened sense of pride. This can sometimes border on narcissism. While both concepts imply a positive relationship with oneself, they differ in the balance of emotions. They also differ in the depth of the emotions. Loving who we are promotes genuine self-acceptance and fulfillment. However, being in love with oneself may evoke a more superficial or self-centered perspective. Cultivating a healthy self-love is essential. It can lead to greater happiness. Additionally, it leads to improved relationships with others. We learn to appreciate not just ourselves but also those around us.

The Whole Armor of God

Start your day by armoring up. Not only metaphorically but physically. Ephesians 6

10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might, for it is through His strength that we find true resilience amidst the challenges of life. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil, recognizing that our adversary is cunning and relentless in his pursuits. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places, which makes our struggle more profound as we grapple with forces beyond human comprehension. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm in faith, equipped with the knowledge that every piece of armor serves a purpose in our protection and victory in the spiritual battle.

¹⁴ Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, ¹⁵ and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; ¹⁶ above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. ¹⁷ And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; ¹⁸ praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints— ¹⁹ and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, ²⁰ for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.{Read full chapter}

Praying Continually in All Things

1 Thessalonians 5:16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. {Read full chapter} Now this IS NOT about being on your knees all day. It’s about giving reverence to the Lord in everything. We should embrace Him in the moments of our daily lives. I talk to Him as I would another person, sharing not just my troubles but also my joys and triumphs. Whether I’m facing a challenge or celebrating a success, I invite Him into every moment. At work, I would silently express thoughts and prayers. I repeated things in my heart and reflected on my current experiences. This constant conversation keeps me grounded. It connects me to my faith. It reminds me that I am never alone in my struggles. My gratitude should flow freely, even in the smallest details of my day. Life’s busy pace may sometimes challenge this practice. Yet, I strive to maintain that dialogue. I ensure that my spirit remains uplifted and my focus on Him unwavering.

Gratitude is an Attitude

Be grateful in ALL things. The Good, which brings joy and happiness, serves as a reminder of the blessings we often take for granted. The Bad consists of challenges that test our resilience and strength. These challenges offer opportunities for growth. They teach us invaluable lessons about perseverance and compassion. And The Ugly, those moments that seem harsh and unforgiving, shape our character. They deepen our understanding of life’s complexities. Embracing this holistic view of gratitude lets us appreciate our full spectrum of experiences. It fosters a profound sense of appreciation for every twist and turn along our journey.

Above All Else, Love Yourself

People have told me this over the years, and it seems to echo in my mind, becoming a haunting refrain. One in particular was my son’s doctor when he was around two years of age; he’s grown now. Anyway, we spent countless days, weeks, and months in the hospital. We navigated the chaotic world of treatments and medications. The emotional ups and downs were overwhelming. He was diagnosed with Severe Hemophilia A, a condition that would shape not only his life but mine as well. I also have this condition. It complicates things further. I’m what they call a Symptomatic Carrier. This means I’m acutely aware of the struggles that come with it. The doctor came into the room on her rounds, and I NEVER once slept while he was in there. Out of nowhere, this doctor said, “You don’t love your son!” I literally physically blew up! “The ‘F’ I don’t! I love him with all my being, and who the hell are you to judge such a thing? I’ve been here every single time he’s been here; don’t you DARE tell me I don’t love him!” I remember feeling my heart race, emotions swirling around me as I expressed my indignation. This conversation went on and on, heated and full of raw emotion, with each word feeling like a punch. She finally stated, “You don’t love yourself, therefore you can’t love anyone else.” My head spun; I was taken aback by such a callous statement. I said, “Bullshit! That’s a lie!” How could a person who barely knew me make such a bold claim? In that moment, I realized how deeply her words affected me. They tapped into my own insecurities. I was forced to confront not just my love for my son. I also had to examine my perception of self-worth during a turbulent and challenging time.

After decades of despising myself, I allowed self-doubt to overshadow my true worth. Now, I can say with confidence and proclaim, “I love you, Tori!” This declaration is not from a place of arrogance. It is born out of deep respect for the journey I have taken to care for myself. I have nurtured my well-being. I now understand my own value. Embracing self-love has been a transformative experience. It has allowed me to recognize my strengths and imperfections. This process ultimately leads to a more fulfilling life. It’s a commitment to treat myself with kindness and compassion. I acknowledge the progress I’ve made. I look forward to the growth that lies ahead.

Until Next Time, May The Lord Bless You and Keep You. May His Face Shine Upon You and be Blessed!