If we don’t take our Recovery seriously and do the “WORK!” we’ll go right back to what we thought was normal. In reality, this is a state that led us to face many struggles in the first place. This notion of normalcy often lulls us into a false sense of security. It makes us believe that we have overcome our challenges merely by stepping away from our previous destructive habits. True Recovery requires consistent effort and commitment. It demands that we confront our past behaviors. We must actively engage in practices that promote healing and growth. Skipping this essential work jeopardizes our progress. It also risks reverting to old patterns. These patterns can be detrimental to our well-being. Embracing Recovery as an ongoing journey is crucial. Recovery is not merely a destination. It necessitates a collective understanding. Only through dedication and active participation can we fully transform our lives for the better.

My true goal in drinking was to just pass out and not wake up. I wanted to escape the relentless cycle of pain. Life seemed to throw disappointment my way. Each night, I would open another beer hoping to numb the deep-seated feelings that haunted me. However, God/Universe always seem to find a way to intervene. They nudge me just when I think I can slip away into nothingness. They remind me that there is still more to explore and more to fight for. Perhaps I have a path still to uncover amidst the chaos.

Self-pity is often seen as the emotional equivalent of a potato chip bag—once you start, it’s hard to stop! It can trap you in a cycle of despair that’s stickier than a toddler’s hug. You know, it’s that lovely feeling of drowning in life’s challenges while wearing a blindfold and fuzzy slippers. Sure, it’s totally normal to have your blue moments—who doesn’t want to feel like a sad puppy now and then? But wallowing in self-pity? That’s a fast track to becoming a couch potato, complete with a side of existential dread. Instead of channeling your inner superhero, you might neglect being proactive. You could just end up binge-watching your woes. They seem like the last season of a soap opera. And seeking support? Forget it! You’d rather replay your woes on a loop, creating a one-person concert of negativity. Let’s snap out of it, shall we? A little recognition of this self-pity pickle can give us a solid nudge towards empowerment and change! Remember: “Poor Poor ME!” is so last season—there’s nothing poor about us; we’re just fabulously dramatic!

Self-loathing posturing creates a striking image. It shows someone who looks like they just lost a wrestling match with a particularly heavy quilt. Their shoulders are hunched and their head drooped as if they’re auditioning for the role of “World’s Saddest Potato.” Each step forward is a monumental effort. It resembles wading through molasses while wearing flip-flops. You battle the relentless “you’ll never make it” mantra from an invisible cheerleader. This comical display of despair not only highlights the challenge of evading personal demons. It also shows the absurd exhaustion that comes with it. It paints a picture of isolation and emotional fatigue so relatable. This depiction might just inspire a new line of greeting cards!

Self-misery oh just can’t get any worse! This hurts and that hurts, and I can’t eat, boohoo. It’s as if my body decided to throw a pity party without giving me an invitation! Every little ache and pain has transformed into a dramatic performance. My joints have taken the lead role. My stomach stages a loud protest like a diva denied its favorite snack. The weight of despair is like a heavy blanket. It has decided to snuggle up for an all-nighter. This makes it hard to breathe or escape. I sit in my cozy corner of self-pity. My thoughts do the cha-cha in a chaotic dance. I question if I accidentally signed up for a reality show called “Survivor: Couch Edition.” I long for a sprinkle of joy. Instead, I find a lurking shadow. It holds onto my happiness like a squirrel with a secret stash of nuts.

ALL OF THE ABOVE MUST GO! There isn’t room within us for ANY OF THIS! It’s crucial that we cleanse our minds and hearts from the negativity and clutter that can weigh us down. We must make space for positivity, growth, and healthier thoughts that propel us forward. By letting go of these burdensome elements, we open ourselves up to new opportunities. We embrace experiences that enrich our lives. These experiences foster genuine happiness.

Two years before I quit, my mom exclaimed in frustration, “Why are you doing this to yourself? WHY! WHY! WHY!” Her voice was a mix of concern and disbelief, filled with love and worry for my well-being. I could see the stress etched on her face. It reflected her fears for my future. It also mirrored the turmoil I was experiencing. In that moment, as I took a deep breath to steady my nerves, I simply replied, “Because I CAN! PERIOD!” I wanted her to understand that this journey was mine to navigate. It was difficult. Despite the challenges, I felt an unwavering determination driving me forward, even in the face of adversity.

Walking in unforgiveness is like harboring a silent storm within. This inner turmoil will eat away at you like a cancer, manifesting itself in various detrimental ways over time. It causes unresolved anger issues, fosters deep-seated hatred, and creates a chaotic battleground filled with overwhelming emotions. Each day spent in this state can lead to mental exhaustion. It can also negatively impact your relationships. The weight of past grievances holds you captive. It prevents you from experiencing the peace and joy that forgiveness can bring. Instead of moving forward, you remain attached to the pain. You live in a cycle of resentment. This cycle steals your happiness and well-being.

I want to highlight something that resonates deeply within our spiritual journey. In the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant, Peter asked the Lord, “How OFTEN shall my brother sin against me? How many times should I forgive him? Is it up to seven times?” NOW LISTEN FELLOW READERS, it’s essential to grasp the weight of this inquiry. Jesus, in His profound wisdom, replies, “I do NOT say to you, up to seven times. Instead, I say up to seventy times seven.” This divine response challenges us to embrace a boundless capacity for forgiveness. This is what I call, “Walking in forgiveness.” Non-stop! It’s not merely a suggestion but a call for an unwavering commitment to forgive. If we don’t, we hold ourselves captive—our hearts shackled by resentment and bitterness. As we navigate our lives, we must consider how forgiveness liberates us, fostering healing and peace within our souls. At the end of the parable, Jesus emphasizes the gravity of this lesson. He states, “So my heavenly Father will do to you if each of you from the heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” This teaching urges us to reflect on our own willingness to forgive. It challenges us to mirror divine grace in our relationships with others.

When I first started to forgive my ex’s, it wasn’t from the heart. I’ll guarantee you it felt more like an obligation. It was not a genuine feeling. It was a mere tick on a list of things I thought I should do to move on. I just started saying it. I forced the words out into the universe like an incantation. I hoped it would somehow change my emotional state. Every time those painful memories popped into my head, I would tell myself to forgive. I repeated, “FORGIVE THEM FATHER FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO!” By uttering those phrases repeatedly, I hoped I could convince myself to feel differently. It was almost like a mantra meant to heal my wounded spirit. It took months of this mental struggle. There was a daily battle with thoughts that echoed my bitterness. I grappled with desires for retribution. It felt almost like dragging myself through a thick fog of resentment and pain. Each step was heavier than the last. Each moment was a reminder of what I had lost. But then, one day, it was finally taken from me. An unexpected wave of revelation washed over me. I fell to my knees crying, “Thank You Jesus! THANK YOU!” The release was overwhelming in its intensity. I felt lighter. It was as if an unseen burden I hadn’t realized I was carrying had finally been lifted from my shoulders. I had a newfound sense of peace. It was a moment of clarity amidst chaos. It was a testament to the profound power of forgiveness. This moment showed me that true strength lies in letting go. I realized that this journey was not just about letting go of anger. It was also about reclaiming my own peace and happiness. They had been so elusive for far too long. Now my mom was a different story altogether, a brick wall I desperately wanted to penetrate for answers. I wanted, I needed answers to questions that had plagued my mind. Over and over and over, almost in anger and desperation, I found myself shouting to God, WHY!?? WHY!?? WHY!?? would you give me a mom that never wanted girls!?? Why God Why! With each cry, I felt the weight of my confusion and hurt intensify; you knew she didn’t want any females!!! Why God Why!?? After months of doing this, exhausting myself with my tirades, I wasn’t expecting anything profound to happen. I found myself in my study room. Books and notes cluttered around me. I was doing my regular studies. This was my way to distract myself from the turmoil of emotions. Suddenly, a voice said very clearly, “I knew you would rise above it!” It was a transformative moment. It felt as if the clouds had parted and the sun burst through. I realized I had the strength to confront my past. I went to my mom’s house, heart pounding, and forgave her. We hadn’t talked for years. Those years were filled with silence and misunderstanding. Yet, in that moment of vulnerability, a new chapter began.

The power of forgiveness is freedom! It opens the door to healing and transforms our hearts and minds, allowing us to let go of old grudges and resentments. WHOOHOO! When we embrace forgiveness, we realize that it liberates us from the chains of negativity and bitterness, paving the way for joy and peace in our lives. HALLELUJAH! It’s a divine gift that empowers us to move forward, to love ourselves and others more fully. Thank You, Jesus, for teaching us the importance of forgiveness and guiding us on this path of liberation and grace!

UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN…..BLESSINGS COMING IN AND BLESSINGS GOING OUT!