After enduring eighteen agonizing years, I faced a difficult truth. My life was marked by two tumultuous marriages. I came to confront a painful truth: my mother never wanted daughters. This harsh realization shadowed my life. It intertwined my fate with men who wrestled with relentless porn addiction. They engaged in a carousel of betrayals that left scars deep enough to remain forever. Each affair spun a web of deceit that ensnared me. It left behind a landscape littered with shattered promises. Hopes remained unfulfilled.

In moments of despair, I often cried out. My voice was filled with anguish. “If my mom never wanted me, then why would you?!” My words reverberated through the strained walls of our home, echoing the profound hurt that festered within me. I felt like a misplaced puzzle piece. I yearned for love and acceptance from the very people who were meant to nurture and cherish me. Instead, they left me grappling with emptiness and isolation.

I held a deep-seated contempt for every aspect of myself, as if I were a canvas marred by unwanted brushstrokes. The only feature I cherished was my hair, a cascade of beauty amidst a tempest of self-loathing. My body felt like a betrayal. My curves didn’t conform to the ideal. My breasts seemed inadequate. The intimate moments I shared left me feeling unfulfilled. The list of my perceived flaws stretched endlessly, each point a reminder of my insecurities.

The echoes of my divorce reverberated in my mind. I couldn’t escape the haunting words that accompanied it: “You’ll NEVER FIND SOMEONE AS GOOD AS ME!” Those phrases repeated like a relentless mantra, casting shadows over my self-worth. It was no surprise then. I found myself alone for nearly a decade. I wandered through a series of relationships with men who were, to my dismay, cut from the same rough fabric. Each encounter left me grappling with the weight of my experiences. I searched for something—or someone—to mend my fractured sense of self. The resonance of past abuse was painfully felt.

I started living alone and embarked on a profound journey. I’ve come to understand that the opinions and perceptions of others do not define my true self. I’ve dedicated myself to personal growth. I am navigating my path independently. This fills me with a profound sense of pride regarding my accomplishments. I am proud of the direction my life is taking. Shedding old baggage and embracing the opportunity for a fresh start has been liberating. Over time, I have learned to thrive on my own. I have also cultivated a deep sense of independence. This self-sufficiency resonates with the very core of my being. I’ve come to realize that I needed to undertake this journey of self-discovery alone. I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything else.

The Potters Clay embodies a sense of warmth and care. It reflects how we shape and mold our experiences with love. We do this with compassion.

♥️I AM THE POTTER YOU ARE THE CLAY♥
Isaiah 64:⁸ But now, O Lord,
You are our Father;
We are the clay, and You our potter;
And all we are the work of Your hand.

The story of the potter’s clay is a timeless tale that illustrates the transformative power of creation. In the beginning, the raw clay, untouched and unformed, appears to be just a simple mass of earth. As the potter lovingly molds it, their skilled hands work tirelessly, shaping it into a beautiful vessel. This process represents the clay’s physical transformation. It is also the spiritual journey of the clay. Over time, it discovers its purpose and potential. The kiln plays a crucial role in this story. It serves as both a challenge and a catalyst for change. The kiln demands resilience from the clay as it undergoes intense heat. It is in this fire that the clay solidifies. It emerges stronger and more vibrant than ever before. This transformation is a true testament to the art of pottery. It also shows the enduring spirit of creativity in the face of adversity.

I have a significant collection of Battle Scars. Each scar tells a distinct narrative of resilience. These narratives showcase tenacity amid life’s most formidable trials. These scars, both manifest and concealed, serve as reminders of the conflicts I have navigated. They highlight the invaluable lessons I have acquired along the journey. They exemplify the strength I have cultivated over time. They embody the challenges I have faced and the triumphs I have secured. Each scar encompasses a story of personal growth, representing a profound transformation in response to adversity.

My outer appearance is now reflecting my inner state of being. When Karma finally shows her face, my past has caught up to my current. I’ve had all female organs removed. I’ve endured cancer’s trials. My final battle was a Triple Bypass heart surgery. This journey has been transformative, teaching me valuable lessons about resilience and strength. I do not focus on my outer appearance as I once might have. I have learned that true beauty radiates from within. We came from dust. We return to dust. That humbling fact reminds me of the transient nature of life. When the inner being is clean and dusted off, it becomes evident in ways far more meaningful. These ways transcend mere physical attributes. I want to shine from within. I aim for my warmth and kindness to illuminate the lives of those around me. This is so much better. It surpasses being someone who is merely “BEAUTIFUL” with an air of arrogance and pride. We all get wrinkles and age; it is an inevitable part of living. There is NO getting around this, and I have come to embrace these changes. I’ve aided my transformation with lifestyle choices. I focus on what nourishes my spirit rather than what the mirror reflects. I find fulfillment in the depth of my experiences rather than the surface of my skin.

When I came across this particular Scripture in Psalms, I was truly taken aback. I found myself reading and re-reading the verses, almost in disbelief, as though I were gazing at something extraordinary. It struck me profoundly that He is our Creator. I realized that by treating myself with unworthiness, I was mocking the very works of God. This revelation stirred something deep within me. It prompted a reflection on the importance of honoring the Divine Craftsmanship that resides in each of us.

Psalm 139^:13 For You formed my inward parts; You {wove} covered me in my mother’s womb.¹⁴ I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.¹⁵ My {literally: bones were} frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.¹⁶ Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. ~~~Note: Psalm Verse 15 The term ‘wrought’ translates “to make manifest.” This concept can be seen in the intricate and hidden development of a fetus in the womb. It parallels the fascinating mysteries and depths found within the earth’s caverns.

The Consequences of Cosmetic Surgery and Creams

Why would anyone wish to face their final moments looking a youthful twenty-five while we’re actually a century old? That’s assuming we even hold together long enough to get there. Burning plastic? I was under the impression that we weren’t meant to scorch such materials.

The global beauty and cosmetic industry is a colossal behemoth, raking in trillions of dollars every year. This staggering financial commitment often prioritizes fleeting facade over substantial, transformative solutions, focusing more on enhancing appearances than addressing the underlying issues. Countless products create an illusion of perfection; they mask imperfections beneath thick layers of makeup or invasive cosmetic procedures, fostering a superficial facade rather than nurturing genuine beauty or self-confidence.

Despite this extravagant expenditure in an industry built on illusions, people continue to chase authenticity with unwavering determination. We exist in a world consumed by superficial enhancements, yet I refuse to be defined by my outer appearance. I’ve squandered hundreds on products laden with harmful chemicals, only to realize that true beauty begins within. I’ve adopted a bold mantra: “If you don’t like how I look, then don’t look!” End of story! And if you find me physically attractive… well, “Move Over!” I have my own journey to pursue!

We prioritize self-love and self-care above all else! This isn’t about arrogance or pride; rather, it’s about recognizing our worth and nurturing our well-being. When we focus on ourselves first, we create a solid foundation. This foundation allows us to show genuine love and support to others. It’s essential to establish healthy boundaries. Engage in activities that rejuvenate our spirit. Cultivate a mindset that values our own happiness and growth. When we take care of ourselves, we are better equipped to navigate life’s challenges. We also contribute positively to the lives of those around us.

Faith Without Work Is Dead

James 2:⁴ What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? ¹⁵ If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, ¹⁶ and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? ¹⁷ Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. ¹⁸ But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. ¹⁹ You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble! ²⁰ But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead? ²¹ Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar? ²² Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect? ²³ And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend of God. ²⁴ You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only.

Everything I’ve been engaged in feels like an endless cycle of hard work! Each moment demands my full attention, requiring me to be deeply in tune with my thoughts and emotions. It’s a continual process of self-discovery, where I navigate through the myriad of feelings and experiences that arise. Everything that I’m writing about I’m still doing. Continually. I “Take the Trash” and God/Universe moves in.

THE DETRIMENT OF LABELS

When we or other people label us as an alcoholic or an addict, she’s a prostitute, he’s a pimp’ on and on, we inadvertently begin to embody that label, internalizing it and allowing it to define our identities. So how is it possible for us to move forward when this “label” is constantly present among us? The truth is, we CAN’T thrive under such constraints; we must actively seek to remove that label from our lives. It is crucial to understand that we are not merely going to stand before God one day, and He will point at us and say, “Oh yes, that’s Tori; she’s an alcoholic addict. We’ll place her in this designated area.” SORRY! Fellow readers, it is essential to recognize that God judges every individual fairly and holistically when we go before Him.

But our worth is not defined by a “label” that society has placed upon us; rather, it is determined by the essence of who we truly are beyond those negative descriptors. Embracing this understanding empowers us to break free from the limitations of such labels and move toward healing and self-acceptance. It allows us to recognize our intrinsic value and cultivate a sense of identity that is rooted in love, kindness, and authenticity. There is a super good book by Max Lucado, The Wemmicks: “You Are Special.” Yes! Yes! Fellow readers, it’s a children’s book, BUT it’s extremely powerful. Its narrative beautifully illustrates how we can allow external opinions to shape our self-esteem and how, in a supportive community, we can learn to appreciate our unique qualities. As I’m writing this, could you imagine if you started reading this to them when they were infants? The impact it would have on their lives would be transformative, instilling in them the understanding that they are valued and cherished for who they are, and allowing them to grow into confident individuals unafraid to embrace their true selves.

UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN….BLESSINGS COMING IN AND BLESSINGS GOING OUT!